Proper Procedures for A Snow Day

While most lose their childlike imagination with age, it’s becoming to look like my brothers’s is only getting stronger, which makes sense. As we get better at the things that we practice, and as you will soon see, he practices a lot.  Mr. Sollenberger is the elementary phys. ed. teacher every parent should want their children to have, he teaches with magic….imagination…. and creativity. Here’s to remembering what it was like to think and act like a child, and to choosing to continue to do it into adulthood. 

 

I awoke to the site of rapidly falling snow, and the ringing of my phone calling to inform me that school was closed yet again.

My wife Brandi works with the schools now as well, so we enjoy our snow days together. I’ve been gradually teaching her how to successfully navigate a snow day in order to achieve maximum enjoyment. The first key to a good snow day is to get out of bed whenever you want, it could be early or late, either in fine, as long as it’s your choice. Alarms should be disarmed as soon as a snow day is confirmed. Continuing to brainstorm the best practices for our shared snow days, lead me to a wonderful thought.

We should start the day with pancakes.

To my delight, Brandi agreed and before I could finish my scan of the front page of the morning paper, smoke wafted from the kitchen and a blue haze drifted through my morning bed head like a twilight fog through the forest. Regrettably I decided to enter the kitchen for a casual once over. Not wanting to cause tension, (she was making me breakfast after all) I decided upon entering the kitchen to simply ask if I should set the table? I hoped she wouldn’t think it odd that I entered on my hands and knees, but I needed to get low for oxygen and the smoke was thick enough she wouldn’t see me anyway. Just as I was about to push out my chair and start my mission, she appeared through the doorway with a trail of smoke, carrying a perfectly browned stack of hotcakes with enough bacon to make pigs everywhere nervous. The smoke was never mentioned and what caused it I’ll never know. This, I thought, was the beginning of an excellent tradition. The next snow day I received wonderful French toast and on the next snow day I was served a hot plate of; “Make your own breakfast” and I knew straight away this was not up for debate.

Unfazed, I scrambled five eggs, toasted an English muffin, added some cheese and salsa to the scrambled eggs and dined, I’d like to add that the kitchen and surrounding rooms were smoke free. Now I may not have burned breakfast but I always fail when making an omelet; it rips, or doesn’t cook through, so I don’t bother anymore.

I just scramble the eggs and throw the toppings on top, it tastes all the same, I wasn’t eating for appearances, it was a snow day and I had big plans, I ate for calories.

Now on a snow day you are allowed to be just somewhat productive unless you are headed outside for a snow construction project. My snow projects look like something the Army Cop. Of Kid Engineers would attach its name too. They tend to be large but otherwise poorly built. I once built an igloo that I could stand inside and reach my hand to the top. I’m 6’2”. Upon arriving home from work, my father-in-law saw me emerge from the entrance and didn’t think it was wise for me to be under so much snow. After I informed him of the ballroom inside, he crawled in to have a look around.

Today however, I would build a snowman, and it would be big! I rolled the first snowball, and was pleasantly surprised at how much larger I could make them now that I’m an adult.

When it finally got stuck, I looked around the yard and thought, “I need a bigger yard.”

I rolled a second ball to about the same dimensions as the first and called on my wife for help. If it were half as big, we still couldn’t have lifted it up. Brandi suggested a ramp, so I tracked down two boards and we slide the ball into place just like an ancient Egyptian moving a stone. We managed to lift a much smaller ball in place for the head, but I was uninspired. It was only about seven feet tall. Brandi helped me place another snow ball on top using the stepladder, but I still wanted more.

I rolled snowballs up and down the driveway, through the ally and into the neighbor’s yard. Positioning these snowballs into a stair like structure, I could now once again build upward. The snowball stairs went up a bit over six feet, which afforded me a view of the garage roof. I made a note that there was more snow up there should I need it.

I gingerly made my way up the snow ladder, without a snowball, just to test it out. “This is great,” I thought as I rose to my feet. Suddenly, without warning, snow supporting my left foot, or maybe it was the right, simply walked off the job, unhappy I suppose, with its supporting role as opposed to a real spot on the tower. Either way, one weight bearing foot was left dangling. Now this created a small problem as I had neglected to build a snow hand rail. As I toppled backwards, I was treated to a view of my feet and the sky simultaneously which was nice because you just don’t get that view too often. I now landed, nope, bounced actually, off the base snowball, and since it was such a treat the first time, I enjoyed another view of the sky framed by my boots, I thought to myself, “maybe this is another reason kids wear their boots, since they fall so often they must be aware that boots and the sky highlight one another’s best features, this must be something we forget as adults.”

I can only hope that I don’t have to wait another twenty five years to experience this magical moment again.

Upon landing on the ground I learned that my knees could touch my ears if I really wanted them to, I guess I just haven’t been trying. Once uncoiled, I thought, “going to need more snow on the top step,” and set back to work.

Eventually, the step did its job and my tower grew to over fourteen feet. Based on what I’ve said so far I know you will be surprised, but I made a minor miscalculation somewhere and the tower developed a severe lean. It became known as the “Leaning Tower of Landisville” and was a minor tourist attraction for approximately twenty seven hours. I made note of my mistakes and like any delusional man vowed to rebuild.