Why you need to embrace your strengths and forget your weakness

“The artist who aims at perfection in everything achieves it in nothing.” – Eugene Delacroix

We spend a lot of time… too much time actually… talking and thinking about what we’re not good at, and we do the same with kids and students.

 

When talking to parents I often hear, my child isn’t good at math, she talks too much , he’s not a good writer, she’s not athletic…. and on and on it goes.

 

While it’s important be aware of our weaknesses, they shouldn’t be the main focus. Because while you’re spending all of time and energy focusing on weakness, you and your child’s strengths, are actually….. well….. getting weaker.

 

If you’ve ever seen my desk, studio, or bedroom, you know that I’m not the most organized person in the room. Or at least, I don’t look extremely organized, however, I get things done, and I know where things are.

 

( really, my students think that I’m performing miracles, as they ask for a paper, and I magically pull it out from under 20 other things…. I don’t know how I do it either… but it’s what works for me)

 

And believe me, growing up plenty of people attempted to cure  me of my weakness. My mom created a list of chores that we had to complete each week ( it was housed on a disk entitled 100% ) , along with some cleaning. I’m pretty sure that I got in trouble every time that I dusted ( well sort of dusted…. my brother and I were also told that we didn’t pass the white glove test, and they’d done of a half-assed job) the house.

 

I was also to vacuum my bedroom, I didn’t like doing it , and often put it off until the last minute. The garage door would be opening, signaling that my mom was home from work, and that my room should have been vacuumed 30 minutes ago. I couldn’t start now, she would hear it running, I would get in trouble. So instead I would pick up the few stray odds and ends on the floor, and run my fingers over the carpet, creating vertical lines, that looked like the lines that your vacuum leaves… it worked.

 

Yes, it likely would have been easier to to just use an actual vacuum cleaner.

 

Fast forward to my adult life, and things haven’t improved. I hate to admit it, but more than once I’ve run the vacuum through the house….. without a bag….. ie…. sucked dirt into the machine, and sent it flying right back onto the floor.

 

My technique for getting dog hair off of the sofa and bed, was not to use the attachments…. they take way too long… I don’t understand them. Instead, I lift the entire vacuum cleaner and place it onto the the bed, or the sofa, and clean as though they are carpet.

This worked well, until I burnt a hole in the sofa. …. and my husband learned of my not so traditional cleaning skills.

 

Also in 6th grade, in preparation for middle school they made us keep all of our papers in a giant binder. It was a nightmare. To this day I hate binders. The pages rip, and then the rings in the binder break… Give me a file folder, one of those without any pockets… that’s the most that I can handle.

 

PS: they lied…. I never had to use a giant binder again.

 

When I started teaching, I felt guilty about never filing papers… really my filing cabinet was… and still is empty. I thought that this was a weakness. So I labeled folders and neatly put all of the papers into the filing cabinet…. and then…. I couldn’t find anything.

 

 There was nothing helpful about it. The only thing that changed was that to the outside world, I looked organized, when in reality  I was totally unorganized.

 

I didn’t know where anything was. I couldn’t remember what worksheets I”d already copied, and what still needed to be done. I was spending too much time focusing on my weakness, instead of embracing it for what it was, and putting my time and energy into making my strengths even stronger.

 

One of my strengths is making connections, between seemingly random things, coming up with ideas, providing many solutions to a problem quickly. A large part of what makes me good at this, is having things all around me, that spark ideas. When everything was neatly filed and put behind closed doors, the connections weren’t firing…. and I couldn’t find anything.

 

We do the same thing to our children and students when we put all of the focus on their weakness.

 

If your child isn’t good at math, maybe it’s not the end of the world, or maybe they just need to see it in a different light. What is your child good at, and how can you make math connect to their strength?

 

Maybe your child is the shortest kid in class, and you think that you should hold them back , so that they catch up with the others. I’m betting that if you switched and focused on their strengths, you’d see that they’re ready to move on.

 

Instead of choosing classes that cater to your child’s strengths, students sign up for physics… because they think that it will look good to colleges….. or because a guidance counselor told them that it’s more important than art or music.

 

Yes, it’s good to try new things, and it’s good to stretch yourself. But that’s not the same thing, as always beating yourself up for your weaknesses.

I have nothing against physics… but if it’s not your thing that’s okay.

 

My senior year of high school I didn’t take any math or science, my focus was on art, and finding a Shiba Inu for $75.00 when the going rate was $475…… seriously I spent my afternoons at the Human League searching for a dog.

 

And while I have some quirks, I’m pretty sure that I turned out just fine… the only thing that I can’t do is help my students understand physics.

Sorry kids……

“ Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos, nor to suggest improvements in creation…

but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living.”

– John Cage

So yes, schools test and focus on Math, Science, and English, but that doesn’t mean that you or your kids have to. Will it be easy going against the system?

 

Maybe not…..

 

But neither is physics…..

Embrace weakness and allow it to point you towards your strength.

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